Saturday, June 30, 2012

Nathaniel - "Nathaniel, have you..." (User-Initiated)


A. Nathaniel, have you seen any basketballs around here?
Nathaniel: No, why? You have to find the club's basketballs, right?

A. Yes, I'm having a hard time finding them, it's a pain. (Affinity: -4) [ends]
B. Yes, I'm looking for them... It's something to do at least. (Affinity: +6)
C. Humpf!... Yeah, I've been looking everywhere but I can't find them... (Affinity: +2) [ends]

Contributors:
faerimagic

Ken - "I know where the basketball club is!"


Ken: I know where the basketball club is!

A. That's alright, I know where it is. (Affinity: +2) [ends]
B. You're as useless as ever, I already know where it is. (Affinity: -5) [ends]
C. Thanks, that's nice of you but someone already showed me where it is. (Affinity: +11) [ends]

Contributors:
faerimagic

Friday, June 29, 2012

Castiel - "I almost didn't wait."


Castiel: I almost didn't wait. Follow me, you'll see it's just right next to the gymnasium. You could have found it on your own if you had tried.

A. (Follow Castiel)



Castiel: There you go. Across the schoolyard, on the left, that's the gardening club. You know what you're supposed to do at least?

A. Um... no. (Affinity: +6) [ends]
B. You're not going to help me? (Affinity: -6) [ends]

C. Do you know? (Affinity: +0) [ends]

Basketball Locations: link link link
When you find the basketballs, talk to Castiel again in the Gymnasium until you complete your quest.

Contributors:
faerimagic
Ally

Castiel - "Ah, is that all?


Castiel: Ah, is that all? OR
Castiel: You're not being very creative.

A. (Next)



Castiel - And why are you looking for that club exactly?

A. Something like mandatory participation in a school club, I think. (Affinity: +6) [ends]
B. The pricipal asked me to help out a club. (Affinity: -4) [ends]
C. I'm not sure, but I'm supposed to help out a club. (Affinity: +0) [ends]

Contributors:
faerimagic

Castiel - "What do I get out of showing you where it is?"


Castiel: Er, excuse me, miss. And what's in it for me? OR
Castiel: What do I get out of showing you where it is? OR
Castiel: Ah, yeah I know. So what? What do I get out of showing you where it is?

A. Uh... (Affinity: +0)
B. The pleasure of my company? (Affinity: +6)
C. Nothing, but you could do it anyway, couldn't you? (Affinity: -6)

Contributors:
faerimagic
Ally

Castiel - "Castiel, I have to..." (User-Initiated)


A. Castiel, I have to go to the basketball club, do you know where it is?
Castiel: Maybe
A. Could you give me a straight answer once in awhile? You're really annoying! (Affinity: -6)
B. Please, can you show me where it is? (Affinity: +0)
C. Or maybe not? (Affinity: +6)

Ken - "Aw...If I had only known."


Ken: Aw...If I had only known. Do you think I could change?
OR
Ken: Why do you say that? Do you think I could change?
A. No! Gardening suits you! (Affinity: +6)

B. Don't even try it! Stop following me around everywhere!
OR
B. Don't even try it! Stop clinging to me! (Affinity: -5) [ends]

C. I don't know, you'd have to ask the principal. (Affinity: +6) [ends]

Contributors:
faerimagic
♥Ally

Ken - "Ken, are you..." (User-Initiated)


A. Ken, are you supposed to help out in a club too?

Comma should be after "club".




Ken: Yes! The principal asked me to. I'm sure that you chose the gardening club, just like me, right?

A. Um, well I guess you guessed wrong. (Affinity: +4)

B. In fact, I prefer basketball. (Affinity: +12)

C. Well...I'm glad I chose the basketball club I guess. (Affinity: -5)

Corrected: Um, well, I guess you guessed wrong.

Contributors:
faerimagic
♥Ally

Principal - "Miss NAME, just a minute please."


Principal: Miss NAME, just a minute please. I would like you to take part in some of the school activities. A club would be a great place to start. The basketball club and the gardening club could both use some help at the moment. I'll let you decide, where would you like to lend a hand?

A. I think I would prefer helping out the basketball club.
This would allow you to meet Dajan and play the Break Basketball game for free.

B. I think I would prefer helping out the gardening club.
This would allow you to meet Jade and play the Insect Rush game for free.

Corrections:
Miss NAME, just a minute, please.
I'll let you decide. Where would you like to lend a hand?

Contributors:
faerimagic

Castiel - "There are a lot of stupid girls..."


Castiel: There are a lot of stupid girls around here.

A. Well, they're always together. Two brunettes and a blonde, Amber I think. I just got here and already they're hassling me.

Corrected: Two brunettes and a blonde, Amber, I think. 




Castiel: Ah ha, you're talking about Nathaniel's sister and her friends? If there was an award for being stuck up pains, they would win it.

A. So you'll help me? (Affinity: +6)

B. That's for sure... But I didn't do anything to them to deserve this.

C. I'll find a way to get them back someday. (Affinity: +6) [end]

Contributors:
faerimagic

Castiel - "You're the one complaining..."

Castiel: You're the one complaining...
A. If you're so tough, defend me!
Castiel: Just like that? And anyway, I don't even know who's responsible.
A. It was those three stupid girls! (Affinity: +0)
B. I see, just forget it.
C. Please, help me...

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Castiel - "Hi." (User-Initiated)


A: Hi

No period??




Castiel: Yo NAME, nice picture!

A. So you saw it too?

Comma after "it".




Castiel: Of course, just like half of the school.

A. You think that's funny, huh? Maybe you had something to do with it?

B. It's not funny! It wasn't your picture put up all around school.

C. Go ahead, make fun of me! I don't care... (Affinity: +0)

Contributors:
faerimagic

Monday, June 25, 2012

Ken - "No, I'm sorry, I've got nothing left!"


Ken: No, I'm sorry, I've got nothing left! Did they do something to you too?

A. Did they give you a photocopy? (Affinity: +0) [end]

B. Yeah, they made fun of me!

C. No, no, nothing happened...

Correction: "Did they do something to you, too?"

Contributors:
faerimagic

Ken - "Hi NAME"


Ken: Hi NAME

A. Ken, have you seen those three girls who are always hanging out together?

Corrected: "Hi, NAME."




Ken: Yeah, they took my money earlier on.

A. What do you mean they took your money?



Ken: Yes, they pushed me on the ground and took my money saying that they wanted to eat lunch at a restaurant instead of the cafeteria.

A. Do you have any money left for me? (Affinity: +0)

B. You can't let them do that to you! Be a man!

C. Did they take a lot? Tell me how much and I can reimburse you if you want.

Contributors:
faerimagic

Nathaniel - "Well I don't have the authority..."


Nathaniel: Well I don't have the authority to discipline students, only the administration and the teachers can do that. So I can't do anything to the people who did this. But I can see how one might think it might be my fault. I'll take the pictures down for you, ok?

A. Ok thanks...I'm sure it was those three pests that did it.

There should be a comma after "Well", and the comma after "students" should be a semicolon. The "So" should be omitted, and the sentences should be changed to "I can't do anything to the people who did this, but I can see how one might think it would be my fault." There should be a comma after "Ok" in Answer A.




Nathaniel: What pestes? OR
Nathaniel: Pests? What are you talking about?

A. They're always together, and Amber, the blond girl mentioned you. All three of them are total idiots. (Affinity: +6) OR

A. They're always together, and Amber, the blond girl mentioned you. In any case, they are real idiots the three of them. (Affinity: +6)

B. They're always together, and Amber, the blond girl mentioned you. In any case, it's clear she's the worst of the three, and I think she likes you, so be warned.

C. Those three girls, especially that Amber... She's a real #@=?!!! (Affinity: -6) [ends]

First of all, "pestes?". For Answer A and B, it should be "They're always together and Amber, the blond girl, mentioned you."

Contributors:
faerimagic
SD

Nathaniel - "What?! I don't know what to say..."


Nathaniel: What?! I don't know what to say...

A. Look at this picture! They put it up everywhere, it's so embarrassing!

The comma should be a semicolon.




Nathaniel: Listen, I'm sorry, I don't know how anyone got a hold of your picture.

A. You're not a very good student body president!

B. ... Is it you?

C. Can't you do anything? Dish out some punishment to those who did it! (Affinity: +6)

Contributors:
faerimagic

Nathaniel - "Hi, so what's new?"


Nathaniel: Hi, so what's new? Is everything working out for you?

A. (cry a bit)

B. Could I ask you why my picture for my file is scribbled on and plastered all over the school. (Affinity: +0)

C. There are some girls here who really don't like me and are trying their best for me to know it.

Answer B should end with a question mark.
Answer C should say "to let me know it" instead of "for me to know it."

Contributors:
faerimagic

Jade - "You haven't finished yet?" (User-Initiated)


A You haven't finished yet?


Jade: No, I've got a problem... I lost my notepad. It has all my gardening notes in it, all the different treatments for the plants and the ground. If I can't find it, I won't be able to finish it in time.

A. Ok, I'll go see if I can find it. (Affinity: +4) [end]
The notebook is in the classroom.

B. Hurry up and find it then.

C. I haven't seen a notepad anywhere around here.

Contributors:
faerimagic

Jade - "Certain flowers go in certain places..."


Jade: Certain flowers go in certain places. I need some more seeds, can you go and buy some while I continue working please?

A. Yes, if you need them. (Affinity: +8) (Money: + $25) [ends]

B. No, I don't feel like wasting my time on flower seeds. It's not like it's a work of art that you're doing  here.

Contributors:
faerimagic

Jade - "Not really but some things are missing..."


Jade: Not really but some things are missing that I need...

A. You'll have to manage with what you have.

B. You should be able to do something with all of that, shouldn't you?

C. What are you going to do? (Affinity: +4)

There should be a comma after "really".


Contributors:
faerimagic

Jade - "There you are, do you have the box?"


Jade: There you are, do you have the box?
A. Yes, here you are.
Jade: Great, thanks! Ah cool, there are a lot of different ones.
A. Yes, that's why she took the box, to fill it up.
Jade: On the other hand...

A. What is it now?
B. Hey, that's enough, I don't want to hear about it.
C. Is there a problem? (Affinity: +4)

Contributors:
faerimagic

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Castiel - "Oh, still with your plants?"


Castiel: Oh, still with your plants?

A. Hey, yeah, you should try it sometimes. (Affinity: -4) [ends]
B. Well, I would change for the basketball club, but it's too late now. (Affinity: +2) [ends]

C. Yes, I'll be spending some time with Jade. (Affinity: +0)

Contributors:
faerimagic

Castiel - "So, did you catch the dog?"


Castiel: So, did you catch the dog?

A. Yeah, yeah, that's done, I'm on my way to see a guy at the gardening club.

OR

A. Yeah, yeah, that's done, I'm on my way to see a guy at the basketball club.

Contributors:
faerimagic

Jade - "Hey, NAME, do you know...?"


Jade: Hey! NAME, do you know Iris? I was told that she took with her the box of seeds that was for the club.

A. No, I don't know Iris, sorry.

B. And, what if I do know her?

C. Yeah, I know her a little. (Affinity: +4) [end]

Contributors:
faerimagic

Jade: "Sorry, I'm a bit..."

Jade: Sorry, I'm a bit irritated. My name is Jade. I'm in a dual education system at a botanical high school. I come here from time to time and bring soil, fertilizer and take care of the plots for the students in the gardening club.

A. So you spend your time with your hands in the dirt?

B. Jade? Isn't that a girl's name?

C. Dual education? That's cool, so you get paid as well? (Affinity: +4) [end]

Correction: Shouldn't it be irritable instead of irritated? Also perhaps this would make the sentence flow more easily: "...soil and fertilizers, and I also take care..."

Contributors:
faerimagic

Jade - "Hey, hi, are you...?"

Jade: Hey, hi, are you the one in charge of the gardening club? Its pitiful, the flowers are all wilting!
A. Hey, calm down, I was asked to help out only two days ago. I'm not in charge of anything. (Affinity: +4)
B. You just have to replace them! I was asked to help out two days ago but I'm not in charge of anything.
C. Can I do something? I've only been helping out for two days now. (Affinity: +0)
Jade: Oh really? Do you know who is in charge of the club then? OR
Jade: Saving all of them is not going to be easy... Do you know who is in charge of the club?
A. Ah... Not you?
B. I have no idea, I just told you I've only been helping out for two days. I thought you were (Affinity: +4)
C. Sorry, I don't know. And who are you?